Insanity in a Notebook
by Wayfarer Song
Summary: What happens when a certain hyperactive teen with a notebook gets ahold of a forbidden magic? You'll find out. Maybe. Just read it, my first attempt at a BH fanfic. The rating is for language. I'm back and Chapter Two is up!
1. Prologue

Whee!! I can't believe I actually got off my lazy bum and wrote something! I don't know whether it  
was the caffeine or the nagging voices in my head that inspired me...but all I can do now is warn  
you that what follows came from my endless depths of insanity. As always, feedback is  
welcome...hell, I wouldn't even mind an MST... ^_^ Either way, enjoy.   
  
Disclaimer: The Bakuretsu/Sorcerer Hunters are not mine. However, certain elements of this fic are mine.   
The plot is mine.  
Pixie Stix Girl is mine.   
I'm not sure what else I'm going to put in here yet, but I'm pretty sure that its either going to be mine or  
not mine...on to the fic!  
  
  
  
Prologue  
  
********  
  
Somewhere on the Spooner continent, a teenager wearing a bright pink shirt was writing  
something down in a notebook, a shrill giggle escaping her every few moments. The little red  
pencil with more than a few bite marks on it and a next to nothing eraser etched little words all  
over the lined paper. On the top of the paper, the words "My Special Plan Thingy To Take Over  
The World and Stuff Like That" were clearly visible in huge, chicken scratch letters. Beneath that  
in smaller, but equally illegible letters was written "By Pixie Stix Girl".   
  
Ladies and gentlemen, meet the antagonist of the story. Gods help us all.   
  
  
********  
  
"Not another one!" Carrot wailed, on his knees and begging in front of the lavender-haired deity.  
  
"I'm afraid so, Carrot. Though this mission promises to be less difficult than the previous one."  
  
"Well, yeah! Anything has to be easier than a giant seven headed, six legged, green and purple  
with orange polka dots from the neck down, seven story monster that breathes fire and has the  
telepathic power to control minds!! C'mon Mama! Give us a break," Carrot resumed begging.  
  
"Carrot, have you forgotten what these sorcerers do to those innocents who try to live in peace  
and-- "  
  
"Okay, okay! We'll do it!" Carrot glowered. It was better than going through this old lecture again.  
  
The other four hunters were standing behind Carrot, Misu sisters standing next to one another  
looking bored, Gateau was once again trying to get the attention of Marron, who had once again  
turned his back. Marron was trying to hear what the mission was going to be about...because he  
knew it all went in one ear and out the other with this team.  
  
"So then, your mission is to find the holder of a forbidden magic," Big Mama informed.  
  
"Oh, joy." Gateau rolled his eyes.  
  
"This isn't just any forbidden magic, however..."  
  
"It always has a catch," Carrot muttered.  
"This forbidden magic is called Hakkyou."   
Big Mama waited for a reaction from any of them, and as though on cue Marron spoke up.   
"...Big Mama...isn't Hakkyou a form of mind-affecting magic?"   
"Yes, Marron...which means you won't be able to absorb it, Carrot."  
Obviously, the older Glace brother hadn't been paying attention. In fact, he was caught at a  
rather ungainly composure, on the floor, picking at his now bare feet. Upon hearing his name, he  
perked somewhat and looked at the deity with a 'Who, me?' expression.  
"What exactly does this magic do, Mama?" asked the younger Misu sister as she adjusted her  
overly large sunglasses.  
"It causes its victims to go insane."   
Carrot looked over the group with a rather skeptical expression. With the exception of Marron,  
they were ALREADY insane. What, with the wild laughter of Tira as she whipped him into a  
bloody pulp every time he transformed, Chocolate's overobsession of him,  
Gateau's...overobsession with himself, and his own hyperactive libido that caused him to go  
insane with lust, he figured they'd be all right.  
"Oh. No worries there," Carrot beamed.  
"This is a very serious matter, Carrot," Big Mama scolded, "You must be careful not to fall under  
this spell."  
"Erm. Who exactly are we looking for again?" Carrot asked with the usual clueless expression.  
"That's what we're sending you to find out," Dotta chirped, waving her hand in an all too familiar  
gesture. "Good luck hunters, bye-byeeee!"  
PWOOF. When the pink smoke cleared, the group of five found themselves on a well worn dirt  
path leading into a rather large town.  
  
  
********  
  
Moments later...  
  
********  
  
"DARLING!!"  
  
"CARROT!!"  
  
"....." A light sigh.  
  
"...." All too obvious eye rolling.  
  
"Its only been five seconds, and Darling is already off chasing girls!!"  
  
"Well, you gotta give the little dipshit some credit...he can run pretty fast." Gateau  
scratched the side of his head as he watched the large dustcloud previously known as  
Carrot get further and further away.  
  
"If only he were that passionate about our missions," Marron sighed in exasperation.  
  
"Well, I'm not just going to let my Darling shamelessly hit on some tramp! I'll show him  
he doesn't need any other girl but me!" With that, Chocolate was off after Carrot,  
creating a second dustcloud.  
  
"Sister!!" And there went Tira, right after her.  
  
"...."  
  
"...."  
  
Gateau and Marron casually walked after the rest of the group.  
  
"Hey, Marron..."  
  
"No."  
  
"No to what?"  
  
"No to whatever it was that you were going to say."  
  
"Damn. No whipped cream, then?"  
  
There was a long pause in their conversation as Marron's left eye began to twitch.  
  
  
  
_________________________________  
  
That's all I have for right now! R/R! More chapters will follow! 


	2. Chapter One

And here I am again with yet another senseless chapter! ^_^   
The last chapter might have seemed a little cliché, but don't you worry! I'm actually going somewhere with this!  
  
Disclaimer: The Bakuretsu/Sorcerer Hunters are not mine.   
However, certain elements of this fic are mine.   
Pixie Stix Girl is mine.   
The plot is mine.   
"Albuquerque" is property of Weird Al.  
  
Warnings: Complete senselessness. Some language, some burrito bashing   
and also maybe some OOC. Deal with it.  
______________________  
  
Chapter One  
  
********  
  
"Oh, pretty girl! Won't you tickle my pickle?"  
  
"...Der? SPLORGE!!"  
  
Carrot found himself faceplanted on the ground after being walloped by...  
  
A giant bean burrito.  
  
"What the hell?!" Carrot sat up, wiping bean paste off from his face.  
  
"Taaaaaaasty..." a young man could be found licking a tree. While standing on his head.   
With a fish tied to either of his feet.  
  
"...Uh...yeah," Carrot approached the guy, still wiping the bean paste from his eye,  
"What's up with you, dude?"  
  
"NO!! MY TREE!!"  
  
"...Forget I asked," Carrot scratched his head and gave the guy a funny look.  
  
It was then that Carrot actually turned off his girl radar long enough to notice that something  
very strange was going on...  
  
"Hey! A bakery! Wonder if they have any doughnuts?"  
  
...Okay, maybe that was too much to hope for.  
  
So instead, Carrot meandered into the bakery, oblivious to anything being awry.  
A smiling clerk greeted him at the bakery counter, and to Carrot's dismay, the clerk was of   
the male variety. Grinning to himself anyway, Carrot walked up to the counter and looked  
around.  
  
"Got any glazed doughnuts?"  
  
"Naw, we're out of glazed doughnuts."  
  
"You got any jelly doughnuts...?"  
  
"Naw, we're out of jelly doughnuts!"  
  
"Well, you got any cinnamon rolls?"  
  
"Naw, we're out of cinnamon rolls!!"  
  
Carrot arched an eyebrow at the clerk's gradual increase in volume as he spoke.  
Shrugging, he came to the conclusion that the clerk was hard of hearing.  
  
"You got any bavarian cream filled doughnuts?!"  
  
"Naw, we're out of bavarian cream filled doughnuts!!!"  
  
"You got any apple fritters?!!"  
  
"Naw, we're out of apple fritters!!!"  
  
"You got any bear claws?!!"  
  
There was a pause as the clerk sedately responded, "Wait a minute, I'll go check."  
  
With a full 90 degree turn, the clerk turned to walk to the back in the very same way one   
might see a penguin walk towards a can of fresh sardines.  
  
Under his breath Carrot mumbled, "Weirdo."  
  
There was a pause of silence, soon to be broken.  
  
"NAW, WE'RE OUT OF BEAR CLAWS!!"   
  
The clerk leapt up on the counter and swiped at Carrot with an oversized rolling pin, a  
maniacal gleam in his glazed over eyes.  
  
"HEY!!" Carrot ducked out of the way just in time, causing the clerk to lose his balance  
and topple into a large rack of freshly baked bread. The clerk became buried beneath the loaves.  
  
"Someone forgot his medication this morning." Carrot leaned over the pile of bread, then started  
to walk away, whistling innocently...  
  
"TIC TAC TOE!! THREE IN A ROW!!" boomed a hysterical male voice with a horrible Italian  
accent.  
  
"...What the hell?" Carrot stopped in mid-step and peered over his shoulder.  
  
"I WIN!!"  
  
Out of nowhere came a large man in a paper baker's hat and a white apron. He smiled at Carrot  
right before leaping over the counter and slamming a cherry pie right into Carrot's face.  
Red berries and crust splattered everywhere, but mostly got on Carrot's face.  
  
"I WIN!!"  
  
Pulling the pie tin off from his face, Carrot wiped part of the pastry out of his eyes and  
smacked his lips.  
  
"Needs more sugar."  
  
"NOOOO!! I WIN!!"  
  
"Er...hey now! Put that down!"  
  
********  
  
As the two sisters stepped into town, Tira and Chocolate were greeted by a strange sight. A young woman was in the cobblestone street, dancing with an overly large burrito. A young man was standing on his head against a tree with fish tied to his feet. Both girls assessed the current situation with a grain of salt considering it seemed as though the forbidden magic had already been used.  
  
"Looks like we're a little late," said the red-head.  
  
"Unless this is some kind of strange ritual," the fuschia haired sister offered.  
  
Chocolate looked about the town similarly to the way a cat would watch for it's prey. Those sharp blue eyes watched for any sudden movement as her equally trained ears listened for any Carrot-sized pick up lines.  
  
"...Hmm, where's Darling?"  
  
Tira took it upon herself to walk over to the nearest citizen, which happened to be the girl dancing with the burrito, and tapped her on the shoulder.  
  
"Excuse me, Miss..."  
  
"Oh, don't you know cutting in is rude?" the girl hugged the burrito and glared at Tira.  
  
"Uh...right. I was just wondering if you'd seen a guy with wild spiky hair wearing a tank top around here."  
  
Smiling vacantly, the girl nodded.  
  
"Where is he?" Chocolate intruded.  
  
There was a short pause as the girl looked somewhat panicked and hugged the burrito close to her chest, protectively, even.  
  
"NO!! HE'S MINE!!"  
  
Assuming the classic Jerry Springer jealous girlfriend pose, Chocolate sputtered, "What?!"  
  
Tira merely blinked behind her giant pink spectacles.  
  
"My Darling is mine and mine alone!!"  
  
"NO!! MINE!!" The girl defended.  
  
"Now listen you little tramp!"  
  
"MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!"  
  
Chocolate would soon find herself on the ground after being walloped by the giant burrito.  
  
...Or not. The girl was now on the ground with a throbbing bitchslap mark on her cheek, clutching her burrito protectively as though it were a small child.  
  
"DARLING IS MINE!!" Smoke might have been visible as it fizzled from Chocolate's ears, her face teeming bright red from rage. The girl was whining on the ground like a two year old lost in a graveyard full of zombies.  
  
It was then that Carrot presented himself in all his manly glory...  
  
...Or maybe he ran screaming and flailing like a chicken on drugs from the bakery, his entire body laden with pie crust and assorted fruit filling. Airborne pies chased him from the establishment, accompanied by the loud voice of an Italian tic tac toe junkie.  
  
The Misu sisters watched and the Italian baker chased Carrot, pausing only to lift his paper baker's hat to them in a gesture of respect. Then, with pies in hand, the large Italian baker resumed his pursuit of the pastry blasphemer.  
  
The was a long pause filled only by Carrot's now distant wails of dismay.  
  
"What...was that?" the red-head blinked.  
  
"Uhm...some girl's angry father?" 


	3. Chapter Two

Here we go again...  
  
Warnings: Strangeness and a few inside jokes. (DratiniRocket, I think you'll understand them. Tee hee. ^_^)  
  
Okay! Time to give the non-plot a jump start!  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
So, as it seemed, Carrot was being chased by an Italian tic-tac-toe junkie. All around the town...sing along now!  
  
The Italian tic-tac-toe junkie is chasing Carrot around, Carrot around, Carrot around! Ohhhh, the Italian tic-tac-toe junkie is chasing Carrot around, all around the tooown!  
  
"WARGH!!" And that was when the song came to an end with a blueberry pie. "I surrender," Carrot panted as he collapsed with a pie tin on his head.  
  
Yeah. Meanwhile...  
  
"What was that..?"  
  
"Eh? What was what?"  
  
"I thought I just heard my brother screaming..."  
  
"Okay. And? Chocolate probably got ahold of him."  
  
"You're probably right."  
  
"Y'know, sometimes I think you need to be hit over the head for worrying about that moron so much."  
  
"......."  
  
Gateau inwardly winced, realizing he'd said the wrong thing to get on Marron's good side.  
  
Well, that wouldn't matter much longer anyway.  
  
As the two hunters walked along the path to town, they passed what looked to be a small forest. Marron stopped for a moment and squinted his eyes somewhat. Gateau halted after noticing that Marron had stopped.  
  
"What?"  
  
"...." Marron held up a hand to call for silence...he'd heard something from the smallish forest.  
  
-------------------------  
  
Hidden within a thicket of trees was a vast meadow. The ground was saturated with natural pastels of purple, pink, red and blue. A soft wind blew by, causing the natural garden's inhabitant to sway as though caught in a dance...  
  
Speaking of which.  
  
Out of nowhere, cheesy piano music started to play as an intro for a musical number.  
  
A shrill, happy...off-key...deranged...voice sang out very loudly:  
  
"I'M A CUCUMBER, I'M A CUCUMBER, I'M A CUCUMBER, I'M A CUCUMBER!!! I'M A CUCUMBER, I'M A CUCUMBER -- PLEASE DON'T TAKE ME TO THE PICKLE FARM -- Yeah!!"  
  
Trampling the flowers as she ran around in a circle 'dancing', a teen in a bright pink tee shirt sang...or yelled, a song made famous by Brak.  
  
Over. And over. And over.  
  
Gateau grimaced, rubbing his offended ears, "Whatever the hell that was, I'm sure you could hear it from three miles away."  
  
Marron grimaced also as the song was repeated.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Oh gods," groaned a mysterious figure as a gloved hand slapped over his forehead. "...Maybe opening Pandora's box wasn't such a good idea."  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Well...that's all I have for right now. Just wanted to let you know that I was not dead, simply writing madly for other fandoms (for which the fics will probably never be typed..)  
  
Hope you enjoyed this part, more to come! 


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